seriously!

assalamuallaikum...

realiti bekerja adalah bbeza dari blajar...

we started to meet all those kind of people...and sometimes.....u feel it's difficult to work with certain type of people who cannot work as a team...seriously!

only now i understand ape yg pernah dr faizal mengadu pd saya dlu....on how difficult the working life is and even difficult to deal with certain people!seriously....

for me, the basic of team work is to give and take....and helping each other....perkara yang kecil dan boleh diselesaikan x perlu dbesar2kan....and finally,at the end of the day...saya,anda dan patient gembira~:)

kesabaran adakalanya sangat diuji dan dituntut dlm bekerja...semoga saya beroleh kesabaran yg tinggi to deal with these kind of people...ameen~

buzzling sound......over my head...

assalamuallaikum...

i'm busy today...need to do census, OT list and 'on call' tonight...but instead of typing my work, my head is buzzling around a death occurred today....

kematian yg betul2 beri keinsafan dan pengajaran pd saya..

i still remember a busy day about 3 weeks ago when i'm in high risk ward....i clerk 2 patient and both case makes a ring for me today...

1st case:
a 27y.o woman with twin pregnancy came in for BP stabilization which her BP that day was just 140/90..a cutting point for PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension)...i wonder myself...why my MO in clinic wanna refer this patient for ward admission with this kind of BP...dan pd hari tu katil full as byk admission...i clerk this patient and she is a really2 nice woman...i adore her humble face....until today...we have a good chat and i build a good rapport with her and her family...she was damn fine in the ward with good BP control

2nd case:
a 42y.o woman referred from hosptl taiping,,,having recurrent breast cancer with brain metastasize...she was so depress and dont wanna talk to anybody...she just sleep and dont wanna open her eyes when i 1st saw her  until i thought she was fainting or having hypoglycaemic attack...all history of the patient i got from the husband...who is a roti canai maker...and lost his job since his wife affected from the cancer..


and 1 fine day when i'm on call....my cancer patient's GCS drop and had symptoms of increase ICP...i prepare patient for emergency c-sec and booking ventilator for the baby...i tried my best not to cause another pain to the patients and family...alhamdulillah....for what i know when i meet the husband,she still alive eventhough she's in ICU now...

and today...when i reach hosptl in the morning...everybody were so kecoh about an emergency case...twin delivery which the 1st baby delivered at home and her second baby was delivered in A&E...she was having high BP which need hydralazine and MgS04 infusion and had massive bleeding until her Hb went down to 4...she develop sudden SOB and 9 pint of blood was transfused and she was sent to OT for hysterectomy to remove her uterus to stop the bleeding...i wasnt know....that it was my patient after i found out she's already died after 30 min of CPR......

what i regret is.....i did gave her hope when i saw her in ward....that she'll be alrite,when she was worried on her condition......i never expect anything bad gonna happen for her and the twins...who am i for saying 'dont worry.everything gonna b fine"...seperti da sure nothing gonna happen...and she believed me and gave me a relief smile...dengan izin Allah........the good outcome gonna happen....and dengan izin Allah....the bad thing can happen at sudden....i forgot and i remind myself today.....i wont give any hope to anybody for anything...cause i dont wanna hurt anyone anymore...:(

things happen tanpa disangka...sapa sangka pesakit yg ok,stabil finally temui ajalnya harini...and pesakit yg xstabil.....dengan peluang hidup yg kurang....masih bnafas hingga saat ni....Allah yg menentukan segalanya...Allah maha besar...allahuakbar...

i'm sorry for those who hurts because of me....because of my hope...because of my stupidity....because of my carelessness and because of my ignorance....:(
i'm sorry....:'(

in the middle.....of the crowd...

it's hard for us to be in the middle....

and now i'm stuck in the middle....

and at the end of the day....u'r the one who's not get anything...

cause u'r not given the chance to choose....for yourself...

i'm tired to satisfy others....at all the time....

and no one bother on how i feel...

*depression*

because i'm so stress....

had u ever felt like so tired and stress till u can't think straight and lost ur patience......?

keje ni mmg menguji...my almost 2 weeks experience working as a doctor is terrible...ntah knpa rs mcm xblh nak cope with working condition...my eyes cried most of the day...my heart scream every single hours....my only medicine there are just my patients and their babies...seriously!

i told my mom...sometimes i feel like burst out, but when i see my patient's face, the only thing that cross my mind is, i NEED TO HELP THEM as they really deserve to be treated wisely get the best treatment...

pagi2 need to wake up at 5.30 am and reach hospital by 6.30am and start my routine reviewing the patients...i'm so damn sleepy as always need to go back late most of the days...1.00 am adelah biasa...for taggers like me...hehe!but even mengantok n penat tahap gabaiii, jumpa je patient trs ilang mngantok...but bile jmpa bos, asek rs sakit perut je......:P

when u'r too tired and stress, the only thing u hope from org skeliling adelah utk memahami....dan mberi semangat....but sometimes it does turns around...it's just nobody's fault.....this is what we call takdir...janji ALLAH tu yg tbaik kn? :) just dont go near to a bomb that gonna explode like BOOM!!!:P hehe..

i'm pigeon type....u just need to talk to me nicely and i'll treat u so good that u'll never imagine...because i'm a pigeon type...:P


and now i need to sleep....thanked God my bed still love me like before even we hardly see each other these days...hihi

goodluck everybody...^_^

assalamuallaikum...

semalam abah masok ward...as he's having pyrexia of unknown origin...(demam lebih dr 2 mggu yang tidak diketahui penyebabnye)...bila buat test sume normal...1st time kot ahli kluarga masok hospital...hehe~alhamdulillah he's getting better...

agak cuak sbenonye~xsampai 2 mggu da nak masok keje...but sriusly mcm blank gile...mungkin sbb lama sgt cuti...makan,tido,makan,tido...it's time for u to burn out your fat lala!!ngahaha(gelak puas hati)...jaga kau lemak...:P

good bye fat!!!!!!

i really feel uneasy if any medical person knows me as a doctor...but maybe as we use the same language, we easily recognize each other...and yesterday, one of the best specialist here,datuk dr soju (i guess this is how her name shud be spelled) throws some medical question to my 'berkarat' brain...OMG, belum pape lg dah kene treat as HO...'ok rosila, i really welcome u to join us, see u soon'

hik3....cuak nak matiiiii....lala,kau dah nak keje laaa....be serious ok!^_^ wink2!!really need to prepare mentally and physically...tp white coat xbeli lg!!:P


to me and frens, GUDLUCK~^^

i need those 'drugs'...plez!:)

assalamuallaikum...

finally there's some fresh air from outside the world of house!:P hehe

can frens considered as family....too?? yes!definitely...for me!hehe...sy dari form 1 duduk asrama, so most of my time filled with dearest frens around...thanks to ALLAH who provide me with good people around to share my ups and downs...

today i had a nice meeting up with matriculation frens...wani n anis!!OH MY GOODNESS! masing2 dah berubah especially cikgu wani...sgt cikgu!hehe...it reminds me to the child look of us for the past 6 years...berhingus!:P (hyperbola sket...hee)

some of my frens dah nak kawin, bertunang...sgt gembira....!!!!maybe for some ppl yg still rileks n xpiki psl kawin ni  sbb x smpai seru lg @ belum smpai masa lg...i still rs nk berjalan2 tgk dunia....meeting up with nice ppl and make frens with everybody...^_^

when u travel alone,u'll realize so many things around during your journey...that's why, sometimes when i want to think more than usual, i like to be alone and look around me...the scenery, the people, all the things that brings the colours of life...^_^

mcm arini, sy pegi solat kt 1 surau ni....and the smell of the telekung........penah denga 'dejavu' x??which is any situation @ smell that makes u remember any event before...so,the smell of telekung tu mcm bau sabun sy penah pakai kt matrik dlu...hehe!mmg rasa mcm nak bauuuuuuuu sampai kalau bole nak kembali ke masa lalu...bole x mcm tu???:P

and kdg2 i'm hallucinating some person kt tepi jalan like my own fren......this symptom brings a disorder which i call rindu yg teramat sgt!!!I MISS U frens,which are all ubat plg berharga didunia....:)

LOVE u,

lala..:)

sad=sedih=gloomy....:(

assalamuallaikum....

sy sedih hari ni...

diam lebih baik...

whenever i feel sad and lonely, i'll go to a big shopping store...bukan mcm klcc @ pavillion ye...kalau yg tu,buat lg tension je sbb mmg xle nak beli pape...xmampu...hehe!

it's like GIANT ke, TESCO ke...MYDIN ke...hehe!and i feel much2 better...just for a slow walk and mencuci mata pd barangan2 comel makes me feel sooooo goooooooooood!!

like now....i feel so much better...alhamdulillah...:)

okai!bubuy!!(^__^)