as it almost over...

assalamuallaikum...

alhamdulillah...my medical posting is almost over......in less than 24hrs time...lalalala...hihi

menjelang akhir posting ni...ntah kejonahan apekah yg melanda diriiku!!it is a daily jonah!

i'd been incharging acute cubicle for d past 1 week...and everyday.....everyday ade pt kene intubate...ventilated...on inotropes...BP sky high...active bleeding...tell me!!tell me!!!mcm2 ada...hehe

penat...sangat2 kot!but oklah...menjelang abes posting ni lah kejonahan jadi...nsb x awal2...hehe

tringat puntaky penah ckp...

"ala rosila...ko masok medical blambak mayat ko jmpa..smbil jalan ada patient sawan sbelah ko...ada pt collapse blkang ko...biasa wehhh"

and mmg btl...when my 1st pt meninggal masa medical i feel so bad......but since there's a lot of death...rasa mcm ok,it's another dead body i cant save...provided i'd been done maximum management and active resuscitation on him...

tringat masa o&g...my mo n specialist used to said that "men creat a lot of probs and they r d real culprit'

and now....i agree!haha...sbb keje kat wad lelaki i realized that most of the disorder r preventable...but smoking,obesity,non compliance to medication and all high risk behavior leads them to those preventable disease!and much worse...sometimes they did spread it to their spouse and loved ones....which is women!hehe

so girls!think thousand times before u commit....to a big responsibilities!;) hihi

ok gotta sleep!!my last day is coming soon...yay!!!:)

bye~

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cause it is a sad death

today....we had a sad death masa nak abessss masa keje

a new patient...came in with a respiratory distress and died after abt 2 hours in ward...

ape yg sedihnya....

patient meninggal di hari kahwin anak die...

and the reaction of d son was like....soooo sad...

"doc...btl ke ayah sy da xde???"

it's hard to tell...yes ur father already passed away when the cardiac monitor still ade pulse...but actually patient dah xdeeee.....

haih!

when i'm in medical death is like so biasa...but kematian arini mcm sedih!dahla da nak abes medical...sob3....

ok!nak jadi doc kene kuat...i'm glad i did contribute...thanks to kawan2 yang bantu td...

moga pakcik dtempatkan di tempat org yang beriman...ameennn

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because i'm happy...>_<

assalamuallaikum...

enjoy myself today...yay!!!hihi

first of all...sy da keje dgn my fav team balik!in which izzati is around...yayyyyy....

then go to o&g and meet my senior's baby...dont know that pantang org tua2 that we cant take pic of a newborn baby...ok!since our org tua got a lot of pantang larang...just accept it and....ok!just accept!hihi...d baby is sooo chomelll....

and baru prasan all babies shares d same smell....which is smell of 'wangiiiiiiii'...suke!;)

ok!from now on i'm gonna lead my life to a happy life...be positive!:)

thanks to izzati for d great food tonite...:)

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cause i'm not born to be a fighter...

okay!now i realize...who's me...

i am not a fighter...n i'm not born to be a fighter...

y am i say so?

sebab i wont take anyone's belonging...since i'm small...u can just take what i have...and just leave me for good...

and when i grew up...it doesnt change...

it hurts when u really want something...but u just cant have it because u cant!n u r not a fighter...

and that's me..:)

xpe...there'll b a day...that i dont have to be a fighter and get what i love...what i want...and what i need to have...

chaiyok lala!!!!

okay!i miss boboy...:'(

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cause it is too late

salam...

yes!!finally i guess i can start writing back...

maklumla da keje mmg xsempat open lappy...tp jmpa plak application for blog dlm phone!

ok...where shud i start.....

hehe..

alhamdulillah medical is finishing soon...gonna enter a new posting...surgeryyyy....yay!hihi

it's true that medical is super busy!even sometimes i dont even have time to go to d toilet...hehe

gonna miss medical...d boss.....all r really.nice!hihi...but wont miss d workload...plisss...hehe

many new things happen...still didnt meet my other better half...life is complicated!really....seriously....hehe

and sometimes when u dont even think something gonna happen...it happens...and u r not sure what shud u do dealing with those kind of situation....

so!what shud u do....observe...pray....and think!before u act....:)

i hope i wont hurt anybody...i'm sorry if i did...

jom!lets have a good life ahead...:)

ditemani dgn great food around!hihi

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seriously!

assalamuallaikum...

realiti bekerja adalah bbeza dari blajar...

we started to meet all those kind of people...and sometimes.....u feel it's difficult to work with certain type of people who cannot work as a team...seriously!

only now i understand ape yg pernah dr faizal mengadu pd saya dlu....on how difficult the working life is and even difficult to deal with certain people!seriously....

for me, the basic of team work is to give and take....and helping each other....perkara yang kecil dan boleh diselesaikan x perlu dbesar2kan....and finally,at the end of the day...saya,anda dan patient gembira~:)

kesabaran adakalanya sangat diuji dan dituntut dlm bekerja...semoga saya beroleh kesabaran yg tinggi to deal with these kind of people...ameen~

buzzling sound......over my head...

assalamuallaikum...

i'm busy today...need to do census, OT list and 'on call' tonight...but instead of typing my work, my head is buzzling around a death occurred today....

kematian yg betul2 beri keinsafan dan pengajaran pd saya..

i still remember a busy day about 3 weeks ago when i'm in high risk ward....i clerk 2 patient and both case makes a ring for me today...

1st case:
a 27y.o woman with twin pregnancy came in for BP stabilization which her BP that day was just 140/90..a cutting point for PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension)...i wonder myself...why my MO in clinic wanna refer this patient for ward admission with this kind of BP...dan pd hari tu katil full as byk admission...i clerk this patient and she is a really2 nice woman...i adore her humble face....until today...we have a good chat and i build a good rapport with her and her family...she was damn fine in the ward with good BP control

2nd case:
a 42y.o woman referred from hosptl taiping,,,having recurrent breast cancer with brain metastasize...she was so depress and dont wanna talk to anybody...she just sleep and dont wanna open her eyes when i 1st saw her  until i thought she was fainting or having hypoglycaemic attack...all history of the patient i got from the husband...who is a roti canai maker...and lost his job since his wife affected from the cancer..


and 1 fine day when i'm on call....my cancer patient's GCS drop and had symptoms of increase ICP...i prepare patient for emergency c-sec and booking ventilator for the baby...i tried my best not to cause another pain to the patients and family...alhamdulillah....for what i know when i meet the husband,she still alive eventhough she's in ICU now...

and today...when i reach hosptl in the morning...everybody were so kecoh about an emergency case...twin delivery which the 1st baby delivered at home and her second baby was delivered in A&E...she was having high BP which need hydralazine and MgS04 infusion and had massive bleeding until her Hb went down to 4...she develop sudden SOB and 9 pint of blood was transfused and she was sent to OT for hysterectomy to remove her uterus to stop the bleeding...i wasnt know....that it was my patient after i found out she's already died after 30 min of CPR......

what i regret is.....i did gave her hope when i saw her in ward....that she'll be alrite,when she was worried on her condition......i never expect anything bad gonna happen for her and the twins...who am i for saying 'dont worry.everything gonna b fine"...seperti da sure nothing gonna happen...and she believed me and gave me a relief smile...dengan izin Allah........the good outcome gonna happen....and dengan izin Allah....the bad thing can happen at sudden....i forgot and i remind myself today.....i wont give any hope to anybody for anything...cause i dont wanna hurt anyone anymore...:(

things happen tanpa disangka...sapa sangka pesakit yg ok,stabil finally temui ajalnya harini...and pesakit yg xstabil.....dengan peluang hidup yg kurang....masih bnafas hingga saat ni....Allah yg menentukan segalanya...Allah maha besar...allahuakbar...

i'm sorry for those who hurts because of me....because of my hope...because of my stupidity....because of my carelessness and because of my ignorance....:(
i'm sorry....:'(